FACT:  Some of your friends may be the reason you are making poor decisions.  One bad move a lot us make is hanging out with people who are not good decision makers.  I come up against this problem frequently as a business coach. I will work with a client to create a plan of action for their business. The client is all in and excited about the plan. But then,  they message me the following week to say it’s all wrong and will never work.

My first question is: Who have you been talking to?  Usually it’s an unsupportive, if not pessimistic, spouse/parent/friend who has convinced the client that the plan will never work. 

I wish I could tell you that usually the client gets refocused, executes the plan, and accomplishes their dreams. Unfortunately, that is often not the case. More often than not, clients who have a negative influence in their ear on a daily basis spend years spinning their wheels, too afraid to take the leap. 

Negative influences can rob you of your dreams. According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, the people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life. That’s right. When you spend time with people who are making poor decisions in their own lives, it’s very likely that you will begin making poor decisions in your life as well. 

This plays out with a variety of life and financial decisions. For example, when people are choosing where to invest, they won’t systematically think about all the options. Instead, they will consider what people they know are investing in.
 
The people with whom you frequently spend time heavily influence your decisions. Sometimes it’s the people around us, like friends and family members, who are naysayers, who slow us down. Almost all my clients have to rethink who they are spending time with when they are ready for their next level of success. This is why you should review who are friends are occasionally.  Once a year you may want to seriously, thoughtfully review your friends, asking yourself if these people are helping you make quality decisions or keeping you trapped in a broke mindset? This is something you can do RIGHT NOW to begin surrounding yourself with people who will help you reach your goals faster. Afer you perform you first friend review, schedule  your next review a year later to make sure you renew this commitment moving forward.

Here’s how the review works:

1: List the people you spend the most time with.

2: Evaluate how those relationships have gone this past year. For each friend on the list ask:

• Was this friend there for me this year?  Why or why not?
• Did we have fun bonding times this year? Why or why not?
• Does this friend frequently use our time together to complain about their life, but then do nothing about it? Why or why not?
• Do we still have similar interests? Why or why not?
• Do I look forward to spending time with them? Why or why not?
• Do I feel energized or drained after spending time with them? Why or why not?
• Does this friend make the cut?
• Is this a mutually beneficial relationship?
• Do I feel like this person supports me in thinking progressive thoughts and making quality decisions? If I just said NO, then what am I going to do about it?

▶ I will cut the cord on this friendship — I can’t carry this person up the mountain on my back. I will invest that time and energy into mutually beneficial relationships instead.
▶ I will have a heartfelt conversation with this loved one about how much I need their support in order to make the moves I want to make.