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Saying Yes When Everything in You is a Loud No
Everything in you is wired to be safe and not take risks. The "reptile" portion of the brain constantly assesses how you can be hurt, how to avoid that, and actions to keep you ahead of all potential threats.
But there is also the heart or guidance part in you that has a different plan. That part is often asking you to go where you can't see a clear path or to follow the desire that seems ridiculous. That part is tuned in to the highest good for you and doesn't give a darn about security, retirement or vacation time. Its purpose is to keep you in alignment. Its desire is for you to be totally expressed, and doing what you are here for. Thing is, when you listen to that, it can be terrifying because so many people around you are stuck in their own reptile/fear brains and will try to steal your dreams if you give them the power.
So let me be that other voice today. I'm talking about the voice that helps you find your yes and move more into that direction.
I recall how I had been loving my career as an IT Consultant when I saw an ad for a Business Coach. I don't know why that ad both scared the crap out of mem yet also compelled me. Let's just say that the energy of it pulled me; however, I couldn't understand it at the time.
I was afraid because the voice in my head told me to apply but I thought it was insane. My undergraduate degree was in Computer Science and I had just entered the MBA program two month prior. Nothing about my experience should have lead me to ever consider the world of business. I hadn't read many business books yet, had no idea how to grow business, and felt like a big fraud just thinking that I could ever support someone in this way.
But, again, the ad pulled me. My monkey mind was going nuts telling me what a stupid idea it was, but I chose to listen to the little yes that was asking me to apply.
Fast forward: I landed the job and that one decision changed the whole trajectory of my life. As a result of that one crazy choice, I have been able to help a lot of people, become the mentor and leader that I desire to be, earn a lot of money, and have shown my child what a strong black woman looks like. None of that was possible from the place I was standing at the time.
Allow me to share with you some tips on how you can be more okay with saying YES when your brain is screaming NO WAY:
Feel into the energy. It may be subtle or like a 2x4 over the head. What pops off the page? Is there a sensation in your gut? Does the idea seem light or heavy? I check in with my body. Bypass your brain and allow your heart/gut to decide. We rely on our mind much too often and this will always take you to the history of past failure and projected fear. It doesn't always get to decide, so I want you to tune in to your body. You may have to retrain yourself from how you have made decisions in the past. (Note: I'm not suggesting to use logic or vet your decisions. But I'm saying let it BEGIN at the point of energy and then you can apply left brain thinking later.)
Note the objections.What is fear saying? Once you hear the fear and apply the "is it true" question to it, it usually becomes smaller. Another question you can ask is, "Can I live with this if it really happens?" Ooften if we determine that the seemingly 'bad' thing that is being presented is something we could deal with, our bodies then settle down and the anxiety lessens.
Pay attention to the possibilities. What is possible if you do say yes? Let yourself dream. There's something that is calling for expansion in you. You may bump into the "But I don’t know how, so I can’t get started" conversation that your ego runs to keep you safe, small and stuck. You don’t have to know the how. You simply have to feel what would be possible and let that grow in you. Practice more dreaming. See if you can be more in tune with your desires.
Note the first decision point. Again, you don't have to have the entire plan! Oftentimes simply deciding to decide, or deciding to be open to more clarity is enough. Decision can = creation. What's one small piece you could decide to say yes to?
Note the magic and synchronicity. What if it all is conspiring to support you? Not just wanting to or hoping to but CONSPIRING to. How juicy is that? And as such, you can be seeing all the evidence and seeds of support. Your brain is wired to block out new things to keep you being in resonance with your set points. So if you have a belief that it's really difficult to earn money and everyone has to struggle, then something coming easy to you would not be trusted. Your brain (because of the Reticular Activating System) may not even allow you to SEE the new opportunity. This makes it twice as important that you begin planting the things you want to see more of as cues all around you.
As an example, my income goal is $35k/month. To start wrapping my mind around the INEVITABILTY of this I have put up Post-It notes all over my office with $35k written on them. Seeing them daily is actually reprogramming my subconscious so I'm more able to receive that amount later on. But there’s one more thing that you really need....
Notice your champions.This is huge. Who are the people in your life calling you higher? Who is there for you whenever you ring them up and tell them that this crazy idea keeps coming up? We usually can't do this up-leveling on our own. I'd bet that you'll most often fall back into the old patterns of the mind that shows you limits, etc. I know that's been the case for me. So the trick here is having someone HOLD THE SPACE for all of your awesomeness. Someone who will always lovingly remind you that you are capable of so much more, and keep you in alignment with your desires. You want to find more people like this because this is how you eventually get to be really okay saying those big, scary yesses that will guide you!
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