Have you ever had one of those years (before 2020 and 2021) where you say, “OMG, I can’t wait for this one to end?” This was my year in 2011. Lots of changes and loss, yet also the most growth I have probably ever done in a 12-month period.

Rewind the clock to 2010. I was earning a sweet, six-figure per year salary as an Information Technology Consultant for a pharmaceutical company in San Francisco’s Financial District..

And I was DYING on the inside.

Have you ever had that experience or, if not, can you imagine the experience of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning because you just can’t take one more day at a J-O-B that you abhor? 

One could only take so much soul sucking, so I finally made the decision to quit the J-O-B and never return to Corporate America. That decision was very freeing; however, it was also a bit scary. So immediately my “rational mind” went into overdrive, trying to figure out all the things I’d need to have in place in order to feel as though it was safe to quit.

I did my homework:  looking into business licenses, insurance, business names, filing taxes, creating a website, business banking accounts, payment processors, hiring employees.  Heck, I even remember trying to figure out what my daily routines would like like once I did not have a schedule.  

Guess what I did NOT look into… (you may know what’s coming)...I didn’t do ANY research on how to get clients!

Looking back, I now see that it was my need for control in action. Delusional, right? I was about to lose the safety of the paycheck, so I was frantically trying to gain some control by “researching” and “studying” all the ducks I THOUGHT I needed to line up in a row.  The great irony was that I completely missed the ONE thing that would have given me some of that security I craved.

Of course, quitting your J-O-B is a very big leap. No matter what kind of preparation you do, it’s a step into the unknown that takes a ton of courage. If I could do it all again, and do just ONE thing differently, it would be to learn a solid SYSTEM to attract clients, even when starting out. Skipping that critical step turned out to be one of the most costly mistakes I’ve ever made in my life, both financially and emotionally. Because I didn’t have a system to get clients, I quickly burned through at least $40, 000 in savings and spent close to two years struggling and worrying night and day about money. To say I was depressed, humiliated and desperate would be an understatement.

The truth is that running a business is sometimes HARD...

• Things fail.
• Money doesn’t flow.
• People leave or judge you.
• Ideas flop.
• Fear and doubt creep in.
• You work tons of hours and don’t get the results you want.

Who can you tell when you are in that space?  Do you just suck it up and put on a mask during challenging times?  The challenge is that when you are in these harder/darker times, the little voice in your head can make you wrong for being there.

The dreaded comparisons roll out and tell you that you who you are not, that you never will, and that everyone else is way better, etc. It’s hell when this happens. So this post is to help you navigate those times. Because trust me, if you are in business long enough, you will be here at some point.

Following are my six tips to feel safe enough to navigate these trying times:

1.  BE GENTLE. Seriously. Let’s get this one at the top of the list. You have the energy of the little voice beating the crap out of you, you must commit to doing just what you can, manage your energy, and make self-care a huge priority.
2.  STAY IN THE PRESENT. One of the hardest parts when things suck is the tendency  to think it’s never going to change. 
3.  GET SUPPORT. If you are in a coaching group and they are all about action, goals and pushing, perhaps you feel like a slacker if your energy isn’t focused there. Finding safe people to share with who will not judge you is the key. Let people love on you, hold you and just know for you that all is well.
4. TELL THE TRUTH. We have this story in our head that we have to be a certain way or present a well put together image of our lives in order to be seen as worthy. Yes, there is a truth to the notion that there has to be competency; however, your audience or community will appreciate you even more if you are real with them. Last year, 23 people whom I loved died and I was really blown away and didn’t feel like I had the energy to run my business. So I wrote a note to my family, friends, clients and email list telling what happened and asked for grace and prayers. In a few short days I received several replies and even referrals thanks to the power of authenticity.
5.  SILENCE THE LITTLE VOICE. This is the crafty part because it can be relentless. You can use thought stopping techniques like putting a rubber band on a wrist and snapping yourself every time you are in the grip of the voice. Or energy techniques like EFT work well. Your state of mind can also be shifted physically by taking a shower, practicing yoga or breathing, or getting outside and sitting on the grass. The most important thing is that you do not let the little voice run your life or hijack your mood.
6.  STRENGTHEN YOUR IDENTITY.  I asked myself these questions: Who am I beyond my income? Who am I without a business plan? Who am I absent my role or title? Who am I at my core? Who do I want to show up as?  For me, the answer to all of these is LOVE. The TRUTH of the matter is that is who I am and how I show up. (And I got to tell that little voice basically to go lay down because love trumps everything.)

So if you’re at that spot where you know you need to leave your J-O-B or you’ve recently left your J-O-B and you’re not sure what to do out of ALL the stuff you could be doing, here’s my last power tip for you:

Whether you’re new in business or you’ve been in business for a while, the FIRST thing you need is a system to bring in cash flow. For service business owners, that means attracting clients consistently. When you know how to keep clients coming in and create cash, the rest starts to work itself out.

I’m currently developing a new training, Fill Your Calendar with Clients in 30 days. In the training I’m sharing the system I used to completely turn my situation around… to go from 2+ years of churning in my head to consistent, lucrative profits. It’s the same principles I teach in my high-end trainings, adapted for those who are newer in business. To make it really simple (and keep you out of overwhelm!), I’m breaking it down for you, step-by-step and day-by-day.